I decided to back off from TTC. I don't know how well I will be able to stick to this, especially next month when I get the same rush of hormones, but I'm hoping to make it easier on myself.
I've not looked at 'Fertilityfriend' for a while now - well, actually, I've just opened the page after typing that, so I really am weak! It's curiosity that got me started on it, and curiosity that makes me check. I've never done this the way so many other women do, but having dipped my toe in I know that I just can't take it - there's so much pressure to put on myself, and way way too much stressing.
So from now on we'll just see what happens. I'm even determined to leave it a few days after my period is due before testing, but we'll see how well that determination lasts in two weeks time.
Liam got the all clear on his elbow at last, he has been having physio for this for so long now I don't even know when the problem started. He couldn't fully extend his arm, and he couldn't carry anything remotely heavy on that side, it was very painful. I think he did it while at Ju-jitsu (or maybe carrying heavy things at work), which he has given up for now anyway. I think when his OU course is done he might return.
It's funny though, as soon as I got a text from him to say that no more physio was needed, I thought to myself; 'He will get the job now then.' I just knew that it would go in that order - he got a good pass on his OU assignment, then the physiotherapist said that his arm was sorted and then he got a phonecall to say he passed everything and has the job if he wants it!
This is fantastic. OK, I do realise that PCSOs are more hated than Traffic Wardens by some people (and not much more use in crime most of the time too) but it does get Liam out of the crappy job he's in now, a job he's wanted to leave for a loooonnnnnngggg time, but never felt able to. It's also one of the only ways he's been able to get in to the police force. When he was looking to join he realised that really they were only interested in recruiting ethnic minorities and women (positive discrimination makes me SICK) and he found out that if you go in to the PCSOs, then after a year you can apply and train to be in the real Police Force.
Of course, since then he found a couple of open police recruitment days
It does raise a couple of issues though. Kung fu is one of the main ones - at the moment he teaches twice a week: on wednesday evenings and Sunday mornings. Of course the police (and PCSOs) do shift work, so unless they are either lenient for him or his black belts agree to reliably stick to a rota of training the lower belts, it's going to leave him stuck. It would be such a shame to see the class go down the drain, but then so few are turning up on sundays anyway. The kiddy class is great though, and Wednesdays are doing ok I think.
Another issue is us as a family, although it's not such a big issue for me, which I suppose is surprising. If Liam works a late shift, I know that he will still have time to be around me and the children. If he has to work Christmas I will hate it, but at the same time I know we'd deal with it (even if it meant having Christmas on a different day), and I'm sure that after all this time jobs that require these kinds of hours/days will have partial solutions at least.
No, it will sound trivial, and like a joke, but I really am more worried about dinners! I am a hopeless, hopeless cook, and I have no desire at all to learn.
However, Liam is an enthusiastic and wonderful cook! He prepares meals that we all like, nutritious meals with a variety of ingredients, he knows what goes with what and he makes an effort to find out more.
I will stick to a couple of basics and the rest will be burnt fishfingers and chips! I don't want that for our family, but I really am crap - no one wants to eat when I've cooked. I can bake - and decorate! - but we can hardly have cakes for dinner every day, or can we......? lol
But there are more pluses to this job besides Liam getting out of the one he's in now. He will be out of the office and on the streets, in public. He will be helping people, which he is very good at. He will have an opening in to the police force, he will be a keyworker (if not as a PCSO then he will when a PC) and so will be entitled to keyworker housing. A good friend pointed out to me that if we can get on to an estate that is all keyworker housing it will be fantastic for us and our children, as the other children and people there will all be of families that have to hold down a good and steady job - not the stereotype council scum that we have invading the once-peaceful square that we have now.
His pay will go up, but then again, we will have to deal with the tax credits people messing us about as a result, and work out savings rather than relying on a Christmas bonus to buy presents with! On the other hand, the legal profession often look for people with police or military background, so another bonus there for the future.
The children are so happy, and Liam's family are over the moon too. Scarlett drew a picture straight away, of Daddy in a police uniform next to a police car - that's a keeper. Liam's family have been discussing little gifts they can get him, all along the lines of a toy truncheon or bobby hat, which made me giggle - he will get the uniform he needs on the job! lol
But best of all, Liam is happy. He found out on thursday and was like a changed person when I saw him. Liam's mum said she could hear it in his voice on the phone. I never realised just how much it was all bogging him down until Friday morning, when he was on his way in to work, about to tell his boss. I commented on how pleased he was with himself and he really was! He was beaming from the inside out, and it's really as though a weight has been lifted from him. I am proud of him, but I knew it would come anyway. What I really feel is a mixture of relief and gladness, that he is the person he deserves to be, a happy one.
The week had it's other good points, but I've blathered on so much I really do need to stop there!
I will make key notes to come back to (as I really am sad like that, and forgetful!):
SW target(!)
Frazer and James
Coffee Morning
Jenny's Birthday
Sarah's visit
Rowan's Birthday worries
Blog link requests(?)
Wow, I really have been busy this week :)
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