In case you haven't guessed, my title is a quote from Liam.
My reply? "Neither is grumpy arse-face-ness". Not exactly mature but bloody hell, has that man been in a mood all day or what?!
He was out early; he had Law training today lasting until 4pm. Learning how to reference things online and in a huge law library.
I was determined to get the children and Tonks to the woodlands, we wanted to see the Cuban carnival at the park too. Unfortunately we had to get our shopping done, and without Liam it meant we were late and it meant it was twice as stressful.
We got it done though, made lunch and took off to the woodlands. Passed by the carnival on the way and wow was it LOUD! As we had Tonks I said we'd look at the carnival on the way home, in the hope that she would be worn out and less likely to be naughty then.
We had a picnic and the children got a chance to try tree climbing (something we never seem to have the opportunity for) and then Tonks got a chance to try out water - she loved it! In and out, starting with a little dip to test and ending up swimming out to retrieve her dummy and chase after an angry mama duck. We went exploring in the woody areas and on the whole got completely worn out, scratched up and muddy. It was great!
Liam met us at the big hill, and we walked home together. He seemed to be instantly in a bad mood, which at the time I put down to my wearing a push up bra with a low cut dress. I was all held in, no bra on show, I tied the wrap dress super tight! But there you go, Liam for you. Hey, it's only him out all day again and do I know where he's gone for sure? just as well that I trust him not to be going off seeing someone else, because I tell you what? He is out an awful bloody lot, and his anger, annoyance and general discomfort would be seen as a guilty conscience by a LOT of people if they knew about it.
I bought takeaway for the children and Liam on the way home, so that we didn't miss Doctor Who - we are getting some seriously good finale stuff at the moment! I'm so worried that David Tennant is leaving - he is so great I can't imagine the show without him! mind you, I'm very attached to Donna too, and will miss her if/when she goes. There's spoilers around that I've read, but I'm hoping they are all wrong. I have only just recovered from Max's death in Hollyoaks yesterday! That was awful, I cried so much.
So tonight I'm thinking things are ok. We watched some TV together, I went online and then shut the lappy when it got boring. Watched more TV and I fell asleep against him. I woke up and got the washing out of the machine and spoke to my mum on the phone. Then I went back online and he goes to bed in a complete grump about my 'computer addiction'. FFS, I just don't get it - I am on the computer sure! But it's my only means of talking to friends really; he's the one able to talk to people at work, kung fu, his uni course, down at the allotment (occasionally) and here I am, not even been able to meet up with Maria this week! And when I met up with her usually it was only for an hour at the most. I'm fucking lonely you know. I don't think I want to be online so much, but what else is there for me? God that's sad. But seriously, if the people I talk to online were living next door then I'd be hanging over the garden fence for chats, and would Liam be any happier? I doubt it.
Ah well, I suppose I had better break my 'addiction' and go hang the washing up. No wait - if it really is an addiction that would mean I have to stay online all night, right? Oh dear, I'd better stay sat here but I must be breaking the mould, because I really do want to hang that washing up! So addiction or not, goodbye!
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Friday, June 27, 2008
Crying - almost
I don't know what's up with me. I'm putting it down to hormones.
This morning I was so frustrated with being late and having so much to do. But I was grumpy! boy how grumpy! I was really moody and horrible to be around - I wanted to fling things and people all over the place I was so angry with the world.
Fast forward a couple of hours and I'm at the Friday toddler group with Rowan. I was sitting with a cuppa tea after the school dash and realised I was feeling sad, really sad. Since then I'm been on the point of tears just about all day - unless I have something that really occupies my attention. I even bought chocolate, something I am not only avoiding to lose weight, but also I've just not wanted it much recently. I bought a Flake to share with Rowan in the hope that the chocolate will perk me up. This means, as Liam said (on the phone) that at least I'm trying to pull myself out of it, which is better than letting it take over.
I've been down ever since though. It's not helping that once again we are not going out. I'm not surprised, because even though I may have wanted to, Liam went out last week with work friends (update: I was supposed to go out with him last week but we had no babysitter so he went out, blew £60 on drinks and was too tired to do anything the next day while I'm hyped up and wanting to move) and so hasn't been feeling that need to go out like I have. What makes it worse still is that the past 2 weeks Liam has said he will take me out on Friday but it's not happened. I just can't stop myself from getting my hopes up!
Actually, I think that might be what this mood is - self defence in a weird way. I think I'm down because I'm not letting myself get hopes up, if you know what I mean?
Damn. We are supposed to be TTC soon, and I wanted to get some adult time together before baby time happens. It's not going to happen, I just know it's not.
Ah well, off to do dinner for now, maybe I will cheer up at some point.
This morning I was so frustrated with being late and having so much to do. But I was grumpy! boy how grumpy! I was really moody and horrible to be around - I wanted to fling things and people all over the place I was so angry with the world.
Fast forward a couple of hours and I'm at the Friday toddler group with Rowan. I was sitting with a cuppa tea after the school dash and realised I was feeling sad, really sad. Since then I'm been on the point of tears just about all day - unless I have something that really occupies my attention. I even bought chocolate, something I am not only avoiding to lose weight, but also I've just not wanted it much recently. I bought a Flake to share with Rowan in the hope that the chocolate will perk me up. This means, as Liam said (on the phone) that at least I'm trying to pull myself out of it, which is better than letting it take over.
I've been down ever since though. It's not helping that once again we are not going out. I'm not surprised, because even though I may have wanted to, Liam went out last week with work friends (update: I was supposed to go out with him last week but we had no babysitter so he went out, blew £60 on drinks and was too tired to do anything the next day while I'm hyped up and wanting to move) and so hasn't been feeling that need to go out like I have. What makes it worse still is that the past 2 weeks Liam has said he will take me out on Friday but it's not happened. I just can't stop myself from getting my hopes up!
Actually, I think that might be what this mood is - self defence in a weird way. I think I'm down because I'm not letting myself get hopes up, if you know what I mean?
Damn. We are supposed to be TTC soon, and I wanted to get some adult time together before baby time happens. It's not going to happen, I just know it's not.
Ah well, off to do dinner for now, maybe I will cheer up at some point.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Breast Feeding Awareness
I'd still been smarting abotu losing my post to be honest, so that explains my quiet. I need somewhere to vent though, so here it comes...
Breast milk is not a *magic potion* - It's not fantastic, the best or special.
Breast milk is the biological norm. Formula - artificial - modified cows milk is simply a substance that falls below the norm.
Breastfed babies are not more intelligent because they were brought up on a magical liquid: they are of *normal* intelect. Formula fed babies are more likely to be of lower intelligence. It makes sense if you think about it - feeding a mammal the food naturally intended for it's growth will provide optimal development as nature intended. Feeding a mammal modified milk created for another species is never going to live up to the real thing.
I just do not understand why people are willing to believe the many, many studies that prove cigarettes to be cancerous, dangerous and often lethal - yet these same people refuse to believe that studies just as valid prove that non-breastfed humans are at higher risk!
We all know people that were artificially fed who are intelligent or allergy free - these people are an exception from the rule, and lucky them! I know of people that smoked 30 a day until they died of a ripe old age at 80, but it's not healthy to smoke is it?
These results are not the findings of silly little studies. They are based on years of research and they have covered people from many backgrounds - wealthy, middle or lower classes.
It is my belief that so many lower class/benefits mums bottle feed because it is handed out to them for free!
Cows milk is not the devil's juice - it has a place. About 1% of mothers can not breastfeed, and without the resources of donor human milk banks, we need an alternative. We should be aware though that the tins on the shelves of our supermarkets are recommended to be a last resort; the least desired alternative.
Mothers that formula feed often get angry. I believe they have every right to be angry! But I also believe the anger is misplaced when it is aimed at pro-breastfeeders.
I believe in choice - but there is no choice when mothers are forced to make an uninformed decision.
Would you make a lifestyle choice simply because of the lovey dovey fluffiness and bond fulfillment? Maybe not, I probably wouldn't. But if you were told that the alternative could increase your child's chance of death so significantly, I believe you might think again.
INFORMED CHOICE FOR WOMEN!
Breast milk is not a *magic potion* - It's not fantastic, the best or special.
Breast milk is the biological norm. Formula - artificial - modified cows milk is simply a substance that falls below the norm.
Breastfed babies are not more intelligent because they were brought up on a magical liquid: they are of *normal* intelect. Formula fed babies are more likely to be of lower intelligence. It makes sense if you think about it - feeding a mammal the food naturally intended for it's growth will provide optimal development as nature intended. Feeding a mammal modified milk created for another species is never going to live up to the real thing.
I just do not understand why people are willing to believe the many, many studies that prove cigarettes to be cancerous, dangerous and often lethal - yet these same people refuse to believe that studies just as valid prove that non-breastfed humans are at higher risk!
We all know people that were artificially fed who are intelligent or allergy free - these people are an exception from the rule, and lucky them! I know of people that smoked 30 a day until they died of a ripe old age at 80, but it's not healthy to smoke is it?
These results are not the findings of silly little studies. They are based on years of research and they have covered people from many backgrounds - wealthy, middle or lower classes.
It is my belief that so many lower class/benefits mums bottle feed because it is handed out to them for free!
Cows milk is not the devil's juice - it has a place. About 1% of mothers can not breastfeed, and without the resources of donor human milk banks, we need an alternative. We should be aware though that the tins on the shelves of our supermarkets are recommended to be a last resort; the least desired alternative.
Mothers that formula feed often get angry. I believe they have every right to be angry! But I also believe the anger is misplaced when it is aimed at pro-breastfeeders.
I believe in choice - but there is no choice when mothers are forced to make an uninformed decision.
Would you make a lifestyle choice simply because of the lovey dovey fluffiness and bond fulfillment? Maybe not, I probably wouldn't. But if you were told that the alternative could increase your child's chance of death so significantly, I believe you might think again.
INFORMED CHOICE FOR WOMEN!
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