Quickie - Rowan at school

I'm hard pressed for time as I'm trying to get to bed earlier - but I'll go in to that another time...

I never ever thought I would be the kind of parent to say it, and least of all about Rowan of all children(!?!) but school has done him wonders!

He's happy there - he runs off to play with his special friend Bonny, who is the little sister of Scarlett's best friend. As she is a full timer, she waits for him every day - he even tried to propose to her the other day! He told me 'Mummy I Love my best friend Bonny' and then later asked her 'Bonny, when we are big will you marry me?' But bless him - she didn't hear so he will never know what the answer would have been! I think the moment has passed for now, lol

Rowan is social - he is now saying hello and goodbye to at least one of his teachers on most days. He is now for the first time in his life taking part in the actions of childrens' rhymes when people can see. I've always known that he can as I've seen him (especially when he thinks I can't see) but he's never done it at toddler groups or with me etc.

I may have blogged about it, but I had to have a change of attitude with him. I was getting super stressed - building up over quite a period of time. Being around Rowan was no fun; he was demanding, whiney, whingey, moaney and would never let me have a moments peace. I could not put a foot right with anything I id for or around him and i got to the point where I just wanted to cry all the time. The women that run the library group even got me referrals to family help and support people. Fortunately these so far haven't been needed since i had my light-bulb moment.
I think it was coming anyway, because I usually can see when these things need to happen, but there was a specific moment when I realised that this may partly be my doing.
I don't know precisely what was happening, but at some point I said to Rowan 'oh you are my good boy aren't you?' (a risky thing to say as he always hated compliments) and he said; 'No Mummy Frazer is your good boy, I'm your grumpy boy'

AAAHHHHH!!!!!!

What had I done? I had created this little terror! I had moulded the poor boy in to a self fulfilling prophecy, knowing full well that he was grumpy. i used to joke about it, and it was an easy thing to slip out when he was being horrible to me (and everyone else around, but mainly me). There's no denying that he certainly was a grumpy and high needs child, but my reinforcing this had hindered his chances of moving out of that stage.

Well anyway, I shall not sully blame myself, but I do believe that I had probably made things a bit worse, or prolonged things.

School however, ha brought him out of himself.
when he first started, I remember him crying because he wanted to draw Tonks (our puppy) but was frustrated because he couldn't do it like the illustrations we see in childrens' books! I never knew how hard it could be to explain to a 3 year old that most children his age don't draw that way! The same thing would often come up with things like reading, running, writing, singing - you name it. But then this all ties in with his dislike of compliments too.
Well now he accepts with pleasure! I tell him that his drawing is fantastic and he says he knew that! I tell him he's clever but he already knows! I'm so happy for him, it's so nice to see this joy in his little eyes - I think he is happy to be with other children his age and at his stage of development. He's no longer the youngest one, as he is with his siblings, and he has many activities surrounding him which are aimed at his stage of development.

And he LOVES the school computers!