After a long day...
I had a nice time this morning, quiet time playing with Rowan mainly. He didn't want to go to Kung Fu, and I don't blame him with how angry Liam can get on the lead up to leaving because he doesn't get prepared the night before and hates being late.
As soon as Scarlett got home we had to dash off to a soft play for yet another party. As she is in reception class, all the children in there are born the same time of year and there are a LOT of parties to attend! I think next week is the last one, thank goodness! But Frazer has one on the same day...
Was manic at the soft play and Scarlett was not happy. She was generally whingy, would wail in agony if anyone so much as touched her, was thirsty but wouldn't drink, didn't want to play etc, etc. I tried my hardest and think she actually had a good time in the end though.
We mums still managed to have a good gossip despite the noise. I really like the bunch of mums in Scarlett's class, and I think I talk to them much more than those from Frazer's class. I'm finding out more and more about one boy in the class who seems to be picking on each child one by one and bullying them. I can't stand this little boy - I'm very accepting and friendly usually, but I honestly can't see anything likable in him, and his mother is very much the kind of person that will never discipline him at all - a 'boys will be boys' person, no matter how much he hurts others.
He's been sent to the head teacher for telling the muslim children in their class that 'all muslims are stupid', he (and his mother) have got in to trouble for bullying a more boisterous (in an acceptable way!) boy, then he moved on to someone else when the mums argued over this. The next boy he picked on happens to have a mother who is very sick at the moment, possibly with cancer. Fortunately he no longer seems to bully this child, but moved on to Scarlett's best friend, and today I found out that he has been hitting the smallest boy in their class - a lovely little boy who needs a supporting frame to walk as meningitis destroyed his legs as a baby.
It just makes me sick! I'm not a confrontational person at all, but I'm getting so wound up from hearing so many parents' accounts of the bullying that if he ever started on Scarlett I am sure that I would explode in his mother's face!
Anyway, we left the (noisy!) party and went on to Liam's parents. Of course being late we were there long enough to see Liam's dad - a lovely man but boy is he loud! Especially around my children, and even more especially when he's just come back from the pub. Oh I just wanted to hide and sleep somewhere quiet!
I have been wracking my brains all day, trying to think of who I could ask to come and look after the kids while I go to tutorials. I still can't believe they fall on a bloody wednesday! Typical.
So on the way home from Liam's mum's house I'm panicking. I'm not sure I even want to do this course any more - I've enjoyed the time off between courses too much and now value getting to have not-study-time. I'm behind already, unable to afford my books and can't see a way possible for me to get to tutorials. I tell Liam 'I don't know why I'm doing this course anyway, I'm not going to be able to do it. All I'm good at is f***ing making babies' I was so down and depressed.
So he replied 'well just stick with that then!' in a really moody voice. Not helped by the fact that recently he has said a number of times (fair enough often jokingly but still...) that he wants no more children.
I could have cried. I would have, in fact, if i were by myself. Worst of all, I was sure that he didn't realise at all how much it had cut me.
Still, he's apologised since, when I told him that it really hurt my feelings. I am feeling better to the point that i didn't need to finish my chocolate Flake(!)
Better still is that I have contacted Ashleigh, my 13 year old sister in law. She is going to babysit on the wednesdays when I am at tutorials. I'm going to really have to prep the kids in advance and pray they are good for her. I'll also have to dash home that day (Frazer has percussion after school so we wont get in until after 5pm probably and I need to leave by 6!), get them in to pyjamas quick and feed them quicker!
I'm worried that Ashleigh will have to deal with getting them in to bed. Although they go down ok at other people's houses, I'm not sure how it will pan out at home. Still, her mum isn't far (max 15 minutes walk), I'll be on the other end of the phone and if it comes to it, the kids stay up and are tired the next day. I was worried that it would compromise Ashleigh's education (apparently school are already talking to her about Oxford and Cambridge!) but as it wont be that often, and TBH she probably goes to bed between 10 and 11 anyway when at home - well she and her mum are ok with it, and I do really appreciate it.
lol - i just had to amend my title - I was super stressed when I began typing but stuff has happened since and I'm less stressed!
Lost has also been on - I've been waiting for it for months! Liam's spoiled it by going on and on about Sawyer. OK, he would argue that but over time he has gone on about it a lot, and Liam is the master of getting the message across without saying anything. I can't believe how we've gone from looking forward to Lost - I used to Love watching it with him! - to him being so moody about it that it practically spoils the whole thing for me.
And all because he found out that I find one man attractive. sheesh. any red-blooded male would have a few women on their list, and most women are the same! Surely it shows hat I'm normal rather than a whore? OK, he hasn't called me a whore(!) but the implication that he is very uncomfortable with the whole idea is always there.
Back to Lost though - fantastic! I really enjoyed getting back in to it, though of course many many questions have been thrown at me and nothing much answered at all. there was a really scary bit - very Blair Witch, which I just don't like at all, but then I'm a wuss!
I'd better get off and ready for school now. i suppose I should take my course book with me tomorrow, have to carry it around all day though. i wish wish WISH Liam would agree to taking the kids to school on a monday - I wont mind doing dinner if he has to work a little later (but would people mind eating it?!) and it's just not fair to make Rowan walk around all morning in the cold and wet when nursery tires him out enough without any walking at all. I feel so sorry for the poor mite; if it tires me then it must really affect him. If Liam could take the other two to school on mondays then I could take Rowan in the carrier to school in the afternoon, and we would actually get a chance to sit indoors for a morning! I could get stuff done!
that's another thing you don't wanna get me started on - why is it I feel I have to do the bulk of everything in the home when in actual fact I'm only indoors half an hour more than Liam is each day?!
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