good thing I blogged (changed title!)

Oh I'm not having a good day
...and so much for not being moany on here, huh.

I convinced Liam to take F&S to school this morning, meaning that Rowan and I do not need to wonder around for a few hours waiting for nursery to start. We got to spend some nice time at home, playing together on the Wii and he played about while I surfed for a bit.
Then I began gutting the spare room for Liam - he really needs somewhere to study, we have the desk and everything, just no space to put it anywhere! The stuff I found in there - you wouldn't believe. There's tonnes of stuff waiting to be ebayed, loads of Liam's photography magazines (never knew he had so many!) and loads of kung fu stuff plus a load of toys that I dont trust the children with alone (magnetix and beads etc).
I think I did ok actually - and a real plus point was finding a box full of Lush bath ballistics! Probably way out of date by their standards, but still smell yummy even though some colours are fading a bit.

I think I've managed to convince Liam to ask about flexible hours on mondays - just a little so that he can take the big two to school. It's just not fair on Rowan to be out so long with nowhere to rest. Liam tends to be in about 20 minutes late, and says he's thinking of just taking it off his lunch break so that he doesn't have to work late.

I got Rowan off to school and then dropped the Lost DVD off to Maria, who is feeling really sick, bless her. She never gets properly ill, and even when she is ill she works if she can! So to be kept in bed today she must really be feeling yuck. I do hope that Lost cheered her up. I think it did, from what the text she sent me said. I've come up with some theories on Lost today, nothing major - I tend to go for the small stuff that never seems to surface in a big way - but I've often been right!

I tried to get started on course reading this afternoon. I did get some done before starting to doze off! I wish I knew how to prevent this - it's driving me mad falling asleep every time I pick up a book to read.
I'm feeling so apprehensive about this course, with no idea whether I can do it or not. I can't decide whether my apathy is because I genuinely just can't be bothered or whether it stems from fear of failure. It's jut so overwhelming, everything I have to do, plus I was just really enjoying not having to do so much these past few months.
Still, I have no choice now. the course has been paid for as I'm on a low income, so if I don't make an effort I will have to pay the grant back, which I just can't do at all. Getting my book allowance would be really handy though - there's so much I need to buy at the moment and spending my money on books is not helping. I don't have the money for the books actually.
I've made a list of things i need/want to buy, things that I have been thinking of for ages but either never have the money or they just get forgotten when there is money around. So far there is;
Dog food (ordered tonight - a sack full)
Wedding Dress Cleaning (overdue I think!)
2nd hand Freezer (so I can get Tonks on to a RAW diet)
Dog training book (there's one in particular I want, might motivate me)
Carpet/flooring (for stairs and bedrooms)
Wedding Dress Storage box (no point cleaning otherwise)
Glasses (my eyes are stinging so badly recently!)

I've no idea when things will be bought at all, but hoped it will make me feel more organised. It does, a bit. a very little bit, lol.

I fell asleep this evening while trying to read. I think I lasted 10 minutes at the very maximum! not got any done since then - part of me is scared to try in case I nod off again and wake up at 2am or something ridiculous.

Actually, I have achieved things today haven't I? Just as well I blogged actually as otherwise I'd just be getting more and more depressed. now all I need to do is hang on to the fact that I have done stuff, I am worthy and I can carry on doing things...