Weak

How many times has he asked me what's wrong today? Lots.
How many times have I answered fully, and honestly? None.
How many times has he mentioned me getting the coil out etc? Twice.
How many times have I used this as a chance to get thoughts out? None.

To be fair, he's only said these things when the children are around, and it's hardly an ideal time to talk then. So that's in my defence. Then this evening he was studying so I couldn't talk then. But he has been down here since, and to be honest I'd probably have worked much better myself if I had got my thoughts out in the open first. As it is I'm stuck on work that's hard enough without all these bloody issues in my head too.

He's gone to bed now, and I'm tired, I should go. But then I lie there feeling guilty for not opening my mouth, though too worried that the argument that will follow will make me cry myself to sleep.
I don't know why I'm working myself up over this so much - he might be fine about it all. It's just such an issue that's so precious to me that I can't help thinking 'what if?' all the time. He's not spoken about it really though, since his negative outburst yesterday. Is no news really good news?

Right, that's it now. I've been up ages once again and I can't let this rule my life.
I've decided; I am going to do the usual bedtime tidyings and then if he's still awake when I go up to bed, I'm going to talk about it.
It can't make things any worse. Can it?