Oh the ups and downs of my sex life eh?

Been a bit up and down recently!


Thursday


OK, I'm deleting bits - I was typing out way TMI!

Long and short of it is that we had unprotected sex on thursday - it was a lustful moment and I never even realised until I was about to get 'seconds' later that night. I then fell in to a fit of nervous giggles as we are not supposed to TTC for another 2 months, but in the end concluded that most likely nothing will come of it, and if it does then never mind. Liam knew that it was unprotected at the time but said he thought that's what I wanted! I had hesitated and he assumed that was why - really it's because I *know* that if we have a quickie earlier then we never get around to the real sex later!

As it turned out, I pulled myself out of the giggles and switched back in to lustful mode, only to be told by Liam; 'I wouldn't bother if I were you. You've really killed the mood' - agh! How hurtful is that!? So in the end I was right, no seconds and a frustrated me.
But the unprotected quickie!?! OMG! To think I'd been worrying all this time that when we do TTC he will get stressed and unable to perform, yet when it happens I don't even realise! (properly, IYKWIM!)




Friday



I spent all day feeling moody without being able to pinpoint why. I put it down to sexual frustration (honestly, I'm like a spoilt brat if I don't get it) and tried not to blame Liam - after all, it was me that giggled hysterically. But I couldn't avoid the 'don't bother' comment as it kept ringing in my mind.
I was determined to get over it though, and bought myself some things to make me feel better. eye makeup - bright lilac/purple, a must this season apparently but I like it anyway. The eye makeup was part of a deal, so I got a blusher and lipstick too. I bought myself some gorgeous cute knees high socks - I wanted the over the knees that River Island used to do, but they don't have them now. These ones are silver-grey with a glitter running through and ribbon bow at the top. my thinking is that hey will go *perfect* with my short floaty silver-grey dress (that Liam Loves on me) and some high heels... *wink*
I had to do dinner, as Liam was going to House of Fraser to get his dad's father's day present early in the sale. I wasn't going to try on my outfit for him until the kids were in bed, so planned on sending him to the shops at some point.

But he brought me a present! And not clothes for me, not makeup or perfume. He bought a gorgeous snuggly baby vest and two sleepsuits in neutral coloured organic cotton from Baby Gap. How perfect is he?!
I told him he was very clever - devious so and so! To know how to get around a woman like that, most men wouldn't! But seriously I know what he said is true. He told me he wanted to alleviate any fears I might have been having about him and baby issues. How wonderful of him!

Then he went to Asda to get me some wine as I had requested. why I didn't go and get changed then I don't know. I guess a part of me was still smarting from last night's comment. Not so much annoyed at him now (impossible to be with how clever and lovely he was) but my confidence had been knocked - once again - and I wasn't as sure about sex, even though I madly wanted it. another big reason was that I wanted a glass of wine in me before I got changed - to add to confidence and kinks I suppose! Anyway, I stayed online and told Marilyn about the baby clothes and before I knew it, Liam was back, with not only wine but chocolate and a mini tub of Ben and Jerry's - plus a posh dinner he was about to cook!
And then he adds more icing to this scrumptious cake! Another gift he bought for me, gorgeous (designer) lingerie. Now I have a choice of outfits! Yet neither got worn as I found it hard to approach him. We did have sex though - protected this time!


Saturday

I piss him off again. I've not been monitoring Tonks well enough in the garden, knowing full well that he has put some of his seeds out there to grow. I don't know why he wants them out there - no sunlight and the allotment is much safer but never mind. I should have watched Tonks more but I didn't and she ate some of his seeds.
He had been borderline grumpy for most of the day, and yet I've been so happy to be with him.

I adore Liam, I truly think I am completely and utterly lucky to have landed a man as wonderful as he is! Today we were passing where we used to live so I went to see our old next door neighbours - Liam was at the shop but met us there. As I saw him approach my heart leapt, he is so scrummy, and looked so cool and attractive as he walked towards us. I went mushy and said to Lou something like 'there he is, there's my gorgeous, perfect man' - I should feel embarrassed but it was hard not to feel proud to have him with me.
I'd been toying with the many ideas of what to do with/to Liam tonight. And whether to go for my silver-grey dress or the new lingerie.
But he is tired. And slightly moody - I don't think anything is going to happen unfortunately. I look forward to being proven wrong if it happens though.
Now, do I go up and get on my exercise machine or not? If I do then I have a good excuse to clean myself up and surprise him after, but I may be very tired. If I don't and also don't get any action, then it will be a lot of calories that I could have lost...