I've been offline so not blogged for a week. I had hoped that our Tiscali to Sky change over would be a smooth one, but this was not meant to be.
We couldn't connect to the net from about Wednesday night I think; apparently Sky had sent our new router, with log in details, to us, but Parcel Force had missed us, and chosen not to leave a card. Liam managed to track it down, and asked for it to be sent to a post office near his work - well that took a couple of days (of course) and then when he got it home it took a bit of fiddling with but eventually worked. All in all about a week offline, although I have figured out that one of the computers a the library actually allows some forums beyond the BBC and children's websites.
I've been getting awful headaches at times, I don't like it. I'm also getting stinging eyes when I read or watch TV too long. I know I really need to get to the opticians but I just can't afford it - bills to pay and then childrens' clothes to buy and dog food to order, not to mention a letter box cage as Tonks keeps eating all the post.
I've also found hat I'm bleeding when ever I have sex. Embaressingly, I phoned my GP about this last year (almost exactly a year ago!) and as i phoned her tonight she told me that we had arranged that I would make an appointment for a proper examination.... I never did. But in my defence, things got better. But then again, we had a lot less sex. It's only recently I've pieced together that it's probably not coincidence that my period starts after I've had sex - I always thought that hormonally I must just want it more then or something! But nope, sex is definitely causing it, and that can't be good, can it?
I'm going for a check next Wednesday, will mean missing the breastfeeding cafe but will be worth it to find out what's up. I hope it's nothing drastic - I have left it a long time now, time to fester and get worse. i reckon it's a combination of the 'slight prolapse' I've been told I have, and the coil getting knocked and irritating my cervix or something. Hopefully nothing that will hinder pregnancy chances - oh please not that.
I'm also taking Scarlett to the GP with me. We're at the point now where Rowan is more reliable to stay dry than she is, and I really need to get it seen to. Sometimes I think she's just being awkward, or she has a fear of public toilets - and I don't get it checked out because I blame myself for her being like this (pushed her in to toilet training before she was ready I think), but then sometimes she tells me that she doesn't realise when she's doing it - and then I don't know what to think. Hopefully we will find out.
Liam is out tonight. He has a work friend leaving - they're all leaving. Apparently the office just isn't the same since this new boss took over. Liam's never been entirely happy there, but now more than ever it's his resolution to get out of there before ht year is done. We're still waiting to hear on his police force application. It's 11pm now and I've not heard from him - this is the guy that never used to go anywhere, bless him.
Mind you, i suppose he could have tried the housephone, but I doubt it. I've been in a call to my mum for much of tonight; she has had a full day, because she found out that her mother is 'riddled with cancer' and has 6 months to live. It's an odd one for me in a way, because I feel incredibly sad. In part because she is a lovely woman and I really like her, but also because I feel incredible sadness for my adopted family; this is and will hit them hard. Because I was taken in to the family as a teen, I never really got integrated in to the extended family, although I've met some of them, and my children refer to her as 'great-gran'. I'm trying to find out about homeopathy for this, to pass on to my mum.
I had a couple of panics yesterday. It was heading to be a busy one - Frazer had a school trip, then percussion after school. Scarlett had her best friend's party to go to at the same time Frazer finished percussion and Liam was to be out at Kung Fu, of course, so no dinner arrangements and I was broke.
The lesser panic was at the breastfeeding cafe. Rowan came up to me with real worry in his eyes and a puffy red, tear stained face. He mumble-squeaked something to me a few times before i could party understand when I said; 'Rowan. Have you put a raisin up your nose?' The poor boy nodded - he looked terrified!
I was unsure what to do at first, this is a parenting milestone for me - 3 children and the youngest is 3 years old, I thought I would have had this one by now! I called the health visitor over to help, but unfortunately she wasn't too sure. i hear a mum say to another that we should go to A&E and i thought nooo, not for a raisin, surely? not yet anyway! lol.
In the end I was amazingly relieved, because I have taught Rowan to blow his nose properly. He managed to get it out just fine and all was well.
Scare number two came shortly after;
I dropped Rowan off at 1pm (all happy!) and got as far as the school gates when my phone rang, it was the school, so I answered and suggested I come in to talk, as I was right there.
I turned around to go back and saw Frazer, on his way to a school trip (theatre near tower bridge). So I know it's not him, I've just dropped off Rowan happy as Larry, so have I forgotten something...? As soon as I was in the doors I saw the head teacher, holding on to Scarlett's hand, he looked quite worried and told me that she seemed to be in a lot of pain and they couldn't help her.
Sure enough she's red faced, clutching her belly and nearly screaming. I took her from him and tried to calm her down enough to find out what was wrong, took her to the toilet etc, but all I could get was that she wanted Frazer. I was a bit miffed at first that she wanted him and not me, but really worried about her belly - by now she was rolling around on the floor clutching it and I couldn't think of anything that could help; memories of Frazer almost dying from a ruptured appendix only a little younger than Scarlett is now - 'what if it is genetic?!' I kept thinking.
I took her home, was worried she would throw up everywhere but fortunately she did not. Called Liam to come home and he did an exasperated 'what?!' to which I told him - Don't you 'what' me - you're a parent, you should expect this kind of thing!
TBH, normally it wouldn't enter my head to call him - I'd take all three of them home early with me and, well, manage, but with Frazer out on a school trip this was not an option; one of us needed to be at home while the other did the school run.
She couldn't stand up straight most of the time, and couldn't keep still when we were not moving, she kept calling for Frazer, and said that she was scared, she didn't want him on a school trip.
So here's where I get more worried - I was close to taking her to A&E (only there was a sensible part of me kept saying you can't do that just for a belly ache) for fear of appendicitis, and now the superstitious part of me was incredibly worried that the Tower Bridge area was about to come under terrorist attack - that Scarlett was having some kind of premonition.
I wouldn't even post this moment online, if it weren't for speaking to a few other people already who said they would have felt the same. I do genuinely believe children are more tuned in to such things.
I carried DD half the way from the bus stop to home then had to put her down as she wouldn't let me use the carrier. She seemed to perk up as we got near to home, and she practically passed out on the sofa when we got in. It was very hard to rouse her later (at what point do you worry about that?! was another thought to hit me) but when she did wake, she was all smiles and giggles It later became apparent that it was Frazer's first trip since Scarlett has been in Reception class, so it was her first time in the big play ground without him! The poor thing had upset herself so much that she couldn't be calmed down again- and all was OK in the end.
It was very weird at picking up time, as we took Scarlett in her party dress, all ready for her best friend's birthday party! I felt guilty, but knew that I had no need - I could not have left her at school in that state, but she was perfectly well to go to the party now. I'm so glad she did - they had a great time. and as it turned out, Liam didn't go back to work so we had a bit more time with him, and I didn't need to do dinner as the children had a kids' meal with the party stuff.
I'd better stop there, I'm getting so sleepy now and i still need to get school stuff ready for the morning. Ho hum.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Friday, January 25, 2008
Liam
I Love him so much.
No, he's not done anything special today, but I can't stop thinking about him. Isn't that great? Over 10 years of being together and I can't stop myself from being so very, very in Love with him.
I couldn't stop kissing him when he wanted to go up to bed - poor thing looked so sleepy and I wanted a snog! lol He's been worn out from getting all that allotment stuff home. Tomorrow we plan to go to the cinema, going to watch The Golden Compass. It's one I really wanted to see on the big screen, but Liam isn't as fussed about it. Mainly I just want to get out with him, it's so lovely to be able to do that. Actually, I'd love to dress up, go see the film but have that as the starter to our date.
I was pottering about earlier - he's already in bed, so sleepy, as I said! - and thinking of how much I adore him. I feel so content to be in the same room as him, and so happy when he talks to me. When he holds me in his arms I feel safe and when we are together I feel complete.
His children - our children - are beautiful and perfect; they all look like him and possess his feelings of Love and care. He nurtures them and they think he is wonderful, as do I. He cares for me and would do anything to make me happy, but so often he doesn't need to do anything at all.
Plus he is damn gorgeous. I am so lucky.
No, he's not done anything special today, but I can't stop thinking about him. Isn't that great? Over 10 years of being together and I can't stop myself from being so very, very in Love with him.
I couldn't stop kissing him when he wanted to go up to bed - poor thing looked so sleepy and I wanted a snog! lol He's been worn out from getting all that allotment stuff home. Tomorrow we plan to go to the cinema, going to watch The Golden Compass. It's one I really wanted to see on the big screen, but Liam isn't as fussed about it. Mainly I just want to get out with him, it's so lovely to be able to do that. Actually, I'd love to dress up, go see the film but have that as the starter to our date.
I was pottering about earlier - he's already in bed, so sleepy, as I said! - and thinking of how much I adore him. I feel so content to be in the same room as him, and so happy when he talks to me. When he holds me in his arms I feel safe and when we are together I feel complete.
His children - our children - are beautiful and perfect; they all look like him and possess his feelings of Love and care. He nurtures them and they think he is wonderful, as do I. He cares for me and would do anything to make me happy, but so often he doesn't need to do anything at all.
Plus he is damn gorgeous. I am so lucky.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Today
just want someone to moan to really, or talk, might get moany though.
I'm so tired. I went to bed really late last night and felt so drained and ill. This morning Liam took Frazer and Scarlett to school so that gave me the chance to have a bit of a lie in bed and catch up on sleep a little. My eyes are still stinging though.
Then again, I wonder how much the eye problem is due to me needing glasses, or needing to wear them more often anyway. I've had glasses since I was at school, but only usually need them for looking distances, but recently my eyes have been stinging and taking a while to adjust after reading.
I'm feeling more tired this evening because Liam will be late home again. Last night was kung fu, but tonight he is off to a freecycler about some gardening tools for his new allotment. The allotment is a lovely idea, but I can't help wondering how much less time that means we will spend together, I feel like I'm seeing him less and less.
He has quite a journey for these tools, and goodness know how he will get them back again. I'm picturing him with a rake, fork, shovel and hoe, with a few little bits and dropping them all over various bus routes! He's going to be late in, I hope he walks the dog tonight; he didn't yesterday!
Oh, just mailed him and he's not got as far to go as I had thought, phew - might see him tonight then!
Rowan had a really happy day going in to nursery today - I was so pleased. He ran from the gate to the door and walked in confidently. He still wont change his book though, and he's had the same one since he started, 2 weeks ago! And it's one we have at home! He wanted me to leave him with a teacher and he was very happy when I did.
i quickly stopped off at the library to grab Frazer his first chapter book (Horrid Henry's nits) and then I did what I often do today and sat in the shopping centre eating bit, reading for my upcoming course. My tutor mailed me last night, and I received details in the post about tutorials. They're at a different venue this time, and I dread having to find my way around another huge university! I just hope they keep to the same room in the building each time with this course.
Right now i should be fixing dinner, or at least tidying up. the children are on the floor (Rowan being stubborn and wont change out of his uniform), Frazer making horrid noises as usual and playing with Rowan's work bench, Roz is now on it and she's trying to get his attention - probably purring away up there! Scarlett is playing with her new fairy house that I bought from the Disney store; it's tiny - like old style Polly pocket and really sweet. Rowan has been bugging her all this time by hiding fairies. I wish she wouldn't play with them on the floor - Tonks is bound to chew up a fairy, or Roz to run off with one.
Speaking of Rosaline, she managed to pull her buster collar off this morning, and as I was in a rush I thought I'd leave it off her and see how she went. She was having a wash, which was to be expected after not being able to, but she wasn't washing the bald area.
Well i got home from school and there it was - all red and wet looking again, and I could swear she's made it bigger already. So back on goes the collar - I wonder how long she will need it for, and if it will ever get better. I'm fed up with keeping her indoors - she's an out cat through and through and I feel guilty. As well as annoyed about the litter tray, lol
Tonks, that disgusting mutt, keeps eating the cat poo - yeuch. You'd think she had crappy food or something (no pun intended!), but I think she's doing ok. Her official food is still Burns - the best dry do food that can be bought I think. But I've been trying to give her more and more raw meat and bones - best for a dog's diet as this is what they are made for eating! Today I gave her a whole turkey drumstick - HUGE! Never done that before - I've bought them for her but usually give either the meat or bone, but today she got it all in one go. It must have kept her busy for a while when I was at the school!
Agh, I really wish Frazer would stop with those noises. Why he does it no one knows. I think he's being an alarm right now. They're all at it (just not as loud as him) because there was a fire drill at school today.
Heartburn - still! I've bloody had it for days now and it's driving me mad. Coupled with sore boobs I'd swear I was pregnant if it wasn't for the mirena.
ah well, I suppose I'd better get cooking dinner. I hate cooking dinner.
I'm so tired. I went to bed really late last night and felt so drained and ill. This morning Liam took Frazer and Scarlett to school so that gave me the chance to have a bit of a lie in bed and catch up on sleep a little. My eyes are still stinging though.
Then again, I wonder how much the eye problem is due to me needing glasses, or needing to wear them more often anyway. I've had glasses since I was at school, but only usually need them for looking distances, but recently my eyes have been stinging and taking a while to adjust after reading.
I'm feeling more tired this evening because Liam will be late home again. Last night was kung fu, but tonight he is off to a freecycler about some gardening tools for his new allotment. The allotment is a lovely idea, but I can't help wondering how much less time that means we will spend together, I feel like I'm seeing him less and less.
He has quite a journey for these tools, and goodness know how he will get them back again. I'm picturing him with a rake, fork, shovel and hoe, with a few little bits and dropping them all over various bus routes! He's going to be late in, I hope he walks the dog tonight; he didn't yesterday!
Oh, just mailed him and he's not got as far to go as I had thought, phew - might see him tonight then!
Rowan had a really happy day going in to nursery today - I was so pleased. He ran from the gate to the door and walked in confidently. He still wont change his book though, and he's had the same one since he started, 2 weeks ago! And it's one we have at home! He wanted me to leave him with a teacher and he was very happy when I did.
i quickly stopped off at the library to grab Frazer his first chapter book (Horrid Henry's nits) and then I did what I often do today and sat in the shopping centre eating bit, reading for my upcoming course. My tutor mailed me last night, and I received details in the post about tutorials. They're at a different venue this time, and I dread having to find my way around another huge university! I just hope they keep to the same room in the building each time with this course.
Right now i should be fixing dinner, or at least tidying up. the children are on the floor (Rowan being stubborn and wont change out of his uniform), Frazer making horrid noises as usual and playing with Rowan's work bench, Roz is now on it and she's trying to get his attention - probably purring away up there! Scarlett is playing with her new fairy house that I bought from the Disney store; it's tiny - like old style Polly pocket and really sweet. Rowan has been bugging her all this time by hiding fairies. I wish she wouldn't play with them on the floor - Tonks is bound to chew up a fairy, or Roz to run off with one.
Speaking of Rosaline, she managed to pull her buster collar off this morning, and as I was in a rush I thought I'd leave it off her and see how she went. She was having a wash, which was to be expected after not being able to, but she wasn't washing the bald area.
Well i got home from school and there it was - all red and wet looking again, and I could swear she's made it bigger already. So back on goes the collar - I wonder how long she will need it for, and if it will ever get better. I'm fed up with keeping her indoors - she's an out cat through and through and I feel guilty. As well as annoyed about the litter tray, lol
Tonks, that disgusting mutt, keeps eating the cat poo - yeuch. You'd think she had crappy food or something (no pun intended!), but I think she's doing ok. Her official food is still Burns - the best dry do food that can be bought I think. But I've been trying to give her more and more raw meat and bones - best for a dog's diet as this is what they are made for eating! Today I gave her a whole turkey drumstick - HUGE! Never done that before - I've bought them for her but usually give either the meat or bone, but today she got it all in one go. It must have kept her busy for a while when I was at the school!
Agh, I really wish Frazer would stop with those noises. Why he does it no one knows. I think he's being an alarm right now. They're all at it (just not as loud as him) because there was a fire drill at school today.
Heartburn - still! I've bloody had it for days now and it's driving me mad. Coupled with sore boobs I'd swear I was pregnant if it wasn't for the mirena.
ah well, I suppose I'd better get cooking dinner. I hate cooking dinner.
Managing
Well today was the breastfeeding cafe, and I managed just fine. No desperate feelings, just a quiet feeling of hope and glee at what will be to come for me.
Liam found the bag this morning and asked me about it. Funnily enough I think he knew I had bought it as a baby changing bag, even without me pointing it out - and yet it only looks like a normal woman's bag.
Liam found the bag this morning and asked me about it. Funnily enough I think he knew I had bought it as a baby changing bag, even without me pointing it out - and yet it only looks like a normal woman's bag.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
the hormones are finally winning
they're taking over the power of the mirena, it's been a battle, but I think hormones are killing off rationality and the broodiness is going in to overload.
I've been waiting so long. I was so desperate for a baby a while back, but the coil helped 'fix' that - I've felt so weird. I knew I wanted children, but the physical urge to conceive wasn't there. I suppose this is good; this meant that I knew I wouldn't be creating another baby on a hormone induced whim. As time went by I gradually realised that there would come a time when I am better prepared to have a baby, when we all as a family would be in a better situation for such a big event.
This all done without hormones taking over was good on the one hand, because it was thought out in a stable frame of mind. But really dodgy on the other hand, as I felt so mixed up inside - I've felt muddled and confused for ages now - I know I want a baby, but I don't feel it, so it feels as though there's something wrong with me. but I want to feel it, and a part of me is certain that the feeling is there, but where? It's all weird, it's all so wrong.
Well anyway. My body fights on. Since first having the merina, I've been getting periods - my body has been fighting to be fertile all along! but it's got worse - the periods are fairly light, but my moods! Oh boy it's madness. I start off moody and PMTish, but once the period actually starts i get depressive, really depressive - to the point where I can't see happiness or love, I don't want sex for weeks after and I hate myself. I'm brought out of this I have now figured out, by Liam reassuring me that we will be having more children, that a new baby will happen.
It was one of these times, quite a while ago when the severe moods started to happen, that I first spoke to him about babies. I put it all in email and said that I'd worked it out that the bulk of our dept would be gone by a certain time, and at this point (early 2009) Rowan would also be 4 and at school full time, the dog would be maturing (I hope!) and it would leave us enough time for me to have completed my second year of my OU course.
So I asked if he would agree to try to conceive (TTC) from about April-ish this year. and he did. I Love my husband so much!
I did say though, that I would need his full support - this has been my main worry. That he will just go along with it all because that's what I want but not actually have any heart in the conceiving. I know he will be a fab dad, I know he will be happy with a baby, but I want him to willingly try and want a baby as much (or at least nearly as much) as I do when we TTC.
He's agreed to try, but to be honest, even now I'm not definite on how much he wants it. He doesn't talk about it much, and considering we'll be starting to try in less than three months time, I wish he would. I hate being the instigator of these conversations, and then when I do start them they don't go as enthusiastically as I would have liked.
Anyway, next month is February, and that is when I am going to get my merina coil taken out (EEP!) Liam has agreed to come with me - I want him there with me every step of the way with this baby. Besides - it bloody hurts! I'm fed up with not having someone's hand to hold, and cervical stuff always makes me emotional, so I'll need someone to cry on a bit too probably. At least this time the pain will be for a more positive cause though!
So, naughtiness. Yes, today I was very naughty indeed. Not only did I have a really good old browse around the baby bits in Mothercare and BHS (deciding that actually, they do have some pretty nice unisex newborn stuff!), before I went there, I was in teh Disney Store on Bond street. I had vouchers to burn and spend most on Frazer Scarlett and Rowan. But was that the first thing I looked at? No way.
I was almost pulled up those stairs, to the baby section. i know how adorable that stuff is and I had to have something, even if just one thing!
I bought a dalmation pup teddy. It's so very soft, and it has a snuggle comforter blankie bit attached. I feel weird to hope that the baby will like it when I don't even have the beginnings of a baby to give it to yet.
but that's not the end of it - I ventured a look around, resisted the layette basket, so beautifully adorned with little Dumbo embroideries, I walked straight past the knitted winnie the pooh booties (without too much pooh on fortunately, over commercialised), so pretty and chunky, in either pink or blue - I'd need one pair of each just in case! - and I went over to the adult bits.
Oops. There I found a gorgeous Bambi shoulder bag; perfect for a baby bag. Pockets in teh right places, enough room for a couple of nappies and a change of clothes inside and a big ol' strap too. There was a purse to match so i got that too!
Well, I do need a purse. Problem is that now i can't let myself use it until I have a baby or else it'll be all grubby and discoloured next to the bag! lol
Naughtier still, is that I showed the children what I had bought and why. I explained that it would be a long time until I ever have another baby, but that I would like to save it in preparation. I feel a bit bad about this, but I don't know why - I don't think they have their hopes up at all. It's probably because I feel i can't tell and show Liam too, now why is that? He should be the first person I talk to about these things, but then again, he seems like one of the least interested I suppose.
Everyone else is practically waiting for me to have another baby, especially now that Rowan is at school. I've not told anyone really, apart from Maria, that I am thinking of trying at some point this year.
I'd better get off now, been typing this for ages and not really feeling any better yet. I really wish Liam would talk to me a bit about it, anything! Rather than me bring it up again. He'd say he doesn't know what to say.
You know what would be absolutely perfect? Him buying a baby thing. Sleep-suit, hat or even only sock - just to know that he thinks of it too, saw something and found it irresistable, as I do.
Oh well, it will come, I hope.
I've been waiting so long. I was so desperate for a baby a while back, but the coil helped 'fix' that - I've felt so weird. I knew I wanted children, but the physical urge to conceive wasn't there. I suppose this is good; this meant that I knew I wouldn't be creating another baby on a hormone induced whim. As time went by I gradually realised that there would come a time when I am better prepared to have a baby, when we all as a family would be in a better situation for such a big event.
This all done without hormones taking over was good on the one hand, because it was thought out in a stable frame of mind. But really dodgy on the other hand, as I felt so mixed up inside - I've felt muddled and confused for ages now - I know I want a baby, but I don't feel it, so it feels as though there's something wrong with me. but I want to feel it, and a part of me is certain that the feeling is there, but where? It's all weird, it's all so wrong.
Well anyway. My body fights on. Since first having the merina, I've been getting periods - my body has been fighting to be fertile all along! but it's got worse - the periods are fairly light, but my moods! Oh boy it's madness. I start off moody and PMTish, but once the period actually starts i get depressive, really depressive - to the point where I can't see happiness or love, I don't want sex for weeks after and I hate myself. I'm brought out of this I have now figured out, by Liam reassuring me that we will be having more children, that a new baby will happen.
It was one of these times, quite a while ago when the severe moods started to happen, that I first spoke to him about babies. I put it all in email and said that I'd worked it out that the bulk of our dept would be gone by a certain time, and at this point (early 2009) Rowan would also be 4 and at school full time, the dog would be maturing (I hope!) and it would leave us enough time for me to have completed my second year of my OU course.
So I asked if he would agree to try to conceive (TTC) from about April-ish this year. and he did. I Love my husband so much!
I did say though, that I would need his full support - this has been my main worry. That he will just go along with it all because that's what I want but not actually have any heart in the conceiving. I know he will be a fab dad, I know he will be happy with a baby, but I want him to willingly try and want a baby as much (or at least nearly as much) as I do when we TTC.
He's agreed to try, but to be honest, even now I'm not definite on how much he wants it. He doesn't talk about it much, and considering we'll be starting to try in less than three months time, I wish he would. I hate being the instigator of these conversations, and then when I do start them they don't go as enthusiastically as I would have liked.
Anyway, next month is February, and that is when I am going to get my merina coil taken out (EEP!) Liam has agreed to come with me - I want him there with me every step of the way with this baby. Besides - it bloody hurts! I'm fed up with not having someone's hand to hold, and cervical stuff always makes me emotional, so I'll need someone to cry on a bit too probably. At least this time the pain will be for a more positive cause though!
So, naughtiness. Yes, today I was very naughty indeed. Not only did I have a really good old browse around the baby bits in Mothercare and BHS (deciding that actually, they do have some pretty nice unisex newborn stuff!), before I went there, I was in teh Disney Store on Bond street. I had vouchers to burn and spend most on Frazer Scarlett and Rowan. But was that the first thing I looked at? No way.
I was almost pulled up those stairs, to the baby section. i know how adorable that stuff is and I had to have something, even if just one thing!
I bought a dalmation pup teddy. It's so very soft, and it has a snuggle comforter blankie bit attached. I feel weird to hope that the baby will like it when I don't even have the beginnings of a baby to give it to yet.
but that's not the end of it - I ventured a look around, resisted the layette basket, so beautifully adorned with little Dumbo embroideries, I walked straight past the knitted winnie the pooh booties (without too much pooh on fortunately, over commercialised), so pretty and chunky, in either pink or blue - I'd need one pair of each just in case! - and I went over to the adult bits.
Oops. There I found a gorgeous Bambi shoulder bag; perfect for a baby bag. Pockets in teh right places, enough room for a couple of nappies and a change of clothes inside and a big ol' strap too. There was a purse to match so i got that too!
Well, I do need a purse. Problem is that now i can't let myself use it until I have a baby or else it'll be all grubby and discoloured next to the bag! lol
Naughtier still, is that I showed the children what I had bought and why. I explained that it would be a long time until I ever have another baby, but that I would like to save it in preparation. I feel a bit bad about this, but I don't know why - I don't think they have their hopes up at all. It's probably because I feel i can't tell and show Liam too, now why is that? He should be the first person I talk to about these things, but then again, he seems like one of the least interested I suppose.
Everyone else is practically waiting for me to have another baby, especially now that Rowan is at school. I've not told anyone really, apart from Maria, that I am thinking of trying at some point this year.
I'd better get off now, been typing this for ages and not really feeling any better yet. I really wish Liam would talk to me a bit about it, anything! Rather than me bring it up again. He'd say he doesn't know what to say.
You know what would be absolutely perfect? Him buying a baby thing. Sleep-suit, hat or even only sock - just to know that he thinks of it too, saw something and found it irresistable, as I do.
Oh well, it will come, I hope.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Princess Party Number One
OK so the night before I was up late. With not being able to come home in the day and so very very much to do, I had to be up late - there was no choice in the matter. Liam of course was ill, juts my luck. So he went to bed early but promised to get up early and finish tidying if I wanted him to.
So I got him up when I went to bed - at 6:30 am in the morning. You know, you can tell you're up late when the kids cartoons start! I got about 3 hours in bed; slept for 2 and a half of that because the children got noisy. When I got up the downstairs was clean and tidy - I had left a list for Liam and apologised for making more mess before I went up, but I was just too tied to do party preps and tidy. I think he felt more sorry for me than annoyed.
So not more party preps start. I needed to eat first and foremost, then get showered, I woke up covered in sweat somehow. Liam took Scarlett to ballet, then was off to his allotment appointment, much to my dismay - even though I had been expecting it! I was in the shower while he was gone and panicked like crazy when the door bell rang and I had to get out soaking wet - had i put 12 and on 2pm on the invitations!??!?!
It turned out that it was a knock down ginger scrote, probably encouraged by the castle poster I had put on our front door (lovingly drawn and coloured in by me - took ages!). So I went and got dressed and set about getting the kiddies dressed, I was shaking and feeling sick all the while. It must be because Liam was out - I always get a bit nervy, but never normally that bad.
Liam was not back too much later and set about doing food - moaning about being ill all the while. I tried to get the balloons inflated now, some with air, most with helium - very pretty! I had asked Laura to bring a foil balloon as I just needed Liam home ASAP rather than waiting for a minor decoration.
I covered the two tables with a pink table cloth and put a purple crepe runner down the middle. The balloons were pink and purple to match - I left most floating about the ceiling with their ribbons trailing apart from those that I tied to Scarlett's chair with a tiara and big silver ribbons to make it look special. We had cute little pink napkins with a cupcake design and plastic wine glasses, all frosted with sugar at the top (always wanted to do that!). Scarlett helped me to lay the table (I told Frazer to go on the computer to keep him busy!) and it looked like a beautiful little banquet when we were done.
Liam sorted out the pink drinks fountain that lights up - it looked beautiful! We had hi-juice for that and pink lemonade for at the table.
Now our guests began to arrive - giving Frazer and I only just enough time to put out silver arrows and balloons directing people to our door, as so often they get lost and then I'm left with a panic on the phone trying to better the instructions that I had previously written. Aya first, whose mother was not staying, then Anusha (mum stayed), Daisy, Honor, Tiffany (all staying without parents) and Eva - her mum stayed. I was surprised at how few mums came compared to last year! I have a suspicion it could have been a conspiracy with the girls at school to ask their mums to go, because a few mums told me that their daughters were adamant to be left, lol!
We started off on our princess hats, with me being most annoyed at the lack of glue - where had it gone? We managed with stickers, sellotape and the glue we had though. We then ate - I think people were too hungry to go straight in to games first. The little girls were desperate to use the drinks fountain but I had told them only after they were done eating! Eva's mum had some wine with me, and I frosted our glasses as a treat too. I'm so glad I named some of the food! Ariel's seaweed salad went down better than I thought it would, and I'm sure apple slices are never as popular as when they are picked by Snow White!
We played stick the kiss on the frog prince (lots of fun), hunt for the poison apple (most popular!) and musical statues (except with a twist - Maleficent from sleeping beauty as freezing people when the music stopped - we played it again and they had to pretend to sleep), we did our pass the parcel and drawing and 'Queen Says' - I added on a dancing competition as I had plenty of prizes to give out. We did loads in the end because I had apparently written that the party was 2-5pm and not 2-4! I'm so glad we were at home and had no issue with it being an hour longer - I was already worried that 2 hours wasn't seeming to be enough.
They all trouped lovely in to the kitchen and sat again for the cake and singing, the cake did look lovely in the end; a pink castle with purple towers, door and windows;
http://www.flickr.com/photo_zoom.gne?id=2203625306&size=m and when we turned off the lights for the candles to be lit, everyone noticed that the drinks fountain was lit up! There was a collective 'Ooooohhhh!' in the room at this point, lol! Scarlett had to stand on her chair to blow out her candles as they were so high up! I hope she made a good wish.
I must say that when the mums arrived for picking up, it really didn't seem like 3 hours at all. We had used up plenty of time making the hats for starters, and the girls kept dashing off upstairs for an unknown reason - maybe they wanted to play in Scarlett's room, or maybe it was the fairy lights on the stairs.
The guests were simply lovely, all of them well behaved and charming. Scarlett really did pick a good bunch! Where normally with a school group you end up with one really cocky child, we simply had a girl that was noticeably more confident, but still not really outspoken or anything, yet despite some being shy in bigger parties, they all played well yesterday. Frazer and Rowan were on their best behaviour, and even Tonks was good - I had to shut her in to the utility room to stop her going loopy, but not a peep was heard from her - I think she slept! Roz was about as I can't let her out at the moment. She has one of those protective hoods on after over washing her belly until it got sore and lost fur.
Scarlett was lovely, she was a good little hostess and very happy to have all her friends over. Laura came about halfway through the party and had on the best medieval dress - outshone mine, which was also borrowed from her! I was glad to have Laura, although I didn't ask as much from her as she often does at parties (I was coping fine, plus she had just come from work with parties!) but she helped out a bit still, and the children were delighted to see her. I did have to pester Liam a bit - he had promised to keep taking photos - I wanted a picture of everything! But he insisted that he either needed the loo, had to sit down for a bit, felt ill or simply couldn't. i kept grabbing the camera when he wasn't about, but it was awkward to get the shots I wanted as I was entertaining. We have plenty though, and Liam dutifully got plenty of the beautiful kitchen before it was wrecked!
I also suggested that the girls all sit down together under our 'princess canopy' (lilac decorative mosquito net) for a photo together in their pretty hats, and then they all posed one at a time for an individual poster under it, which I am going to try to print to give to them with their thank you note.
We didn't get a photo of our door though, which is a shame as I had done a great picture of Sleeping Beauty's castle and stuck it up with the words 'Happily Ever After' around it. The slightly annoying thing is that the castle encouraged the local brats to wage a campaign of Knock Down Ginger on us, which isn't convenient when you have better things to do! The very annoying thing is that this morning I found out that the picture has been stolen. I'm quite gutted about this as I was planning to use yesterdays decs for today's mini party with our family friends. Plus I was going to let Scarlett keep the poster - it was too good to throw away. But ah well. There was an imperfection that bugged me - maybe this can prompt me to make a new picture and make it better. It's just a shame that I threw away the sketch design and don't have a photo to go by. I hope it's not wrong to wish painful ingrown toenails on the little scrotes that nicked it.
Back to yesterday - I was shattered! We got the children up to bed and then I passed out downstairs, only woke up to go to bed and I had to rely on Liam to do anything that needed to be done with the dog etc.
A good day in all, and now I need to get off and arrange stuff for today! At least it's only Sally and Maria with their children coming over, so I don't need to go OTT. Libby is expecting a tea party though so I had better deliver!
So I got him up when I went to bed - at 6:30 am in the morning. You know, you can tell you're up late when the kids cartoons start! I got about 3 hours in bed; slept for 2 and a half of that because the children got noisy. When I got up the downstairs was clean and tidy - I had left a list for Liam and apologised for making more mess before I went up, but I was just too tied to do party preps and tidy. I think he felt more sorry for me than annoyed.
So not more party preps start. I needed to eat first and foremost, then get showered, I woke up covered in sweat somehow. Liam took Scarlett to ballet, then was off to his allotment appointment, much to my dismay - even though I had been expecting it! I was in the shower while he was gone and panicked like crazy when the door bell rang and I had to get out soaking wet - had i put 12 and on 2pm on the invitations!??!?!
It turned out that it was a knock down ginger scrote, probably encouraged by the castle poster I had put on our front door (lovingly drawn and coloured in by me - took ages!). So I went and got dressed and set about getting the kiddies dressed, I was shaking and feeling sick all the while. It must be because Liam was out - I always get a bit nervy, but never normally that bad.
Liam was not back too much later and set about doing food - moaning about being ill all the while. I tried to get the balloons inflated now, some with air, most with helium - very pretty! I had asked Laura to bring a foil balloon as I just needed Liam home ASAP rather than waiting for a minor decoration.
I covered the two tables with a pink table cloth and put a purple crepe runner down the middle. The balloons were pink and purple to match - I left most floating about the ceiling with their ribbons trailing apart from those that I tied to Scarlett's chair with a tiara and big silver ribbons to make it look special. We had cute little pink napkins with a cupcake design and plastic wine glasses, all frosted with sugar at the top (always wanted to do that!). Scarlett helped me to lay the table (I told Frazer to go on the computer to keep him busy!) and it looked like a beautiful little banquet when we were done.
Liam sorted out the pink drinks fountain that lights up - it looked beautiful! We had hi-juice for that and pink lemonade for at the table.
Now our guests began to arrive - giving Frazer and I only just enough time to put out silver arrows and balloons directing people to our door, as so often they get lost and then I'm left with a panic on the phone trying to better the instructions that I had previously written. Aya first, whose mother was not staying, then Anusha (mum stayed), Daisy, Honor, Tiffany (all staying without parents) and Eva - her mum stayed. I was surprised at how few mums came compared to last year! I have a suspicion it could have been a conspiracy with the girls at school to ask their mums to go, because a few mums told me that their daughters were adamant to be left, lol!
We started off on our princess hats, with me being most annoyed at the lack of glue - where had it gone? We managed with stickers, sellotape and the glue we had though. We then ate - I think people were too hungry to go straight in to games first. The little girls were desperate to use the drinks fountain but I had told them only after they were done eating! Eva's mum had some wine with me, and I frosted our glasses as a treat too. I'm so glad I named some of the food! Ariel's seaweed salad went down better than I thought it would, and I'm sure apple slices are never as popular as when they are picked by Snow White!
We played stick the kiss on the frog prince (lots of fun), hunt for the poison apple (most popular!) and musical statues (except with a twist - Maleficent from sleeping beauty as freezing people when the music stopped - we played it again and they had to pretend to sleep), we did our pass the parcel and drawing and 'Queen Says' - I added on a dancing competition as I had plenty of prizes to give out. We did loads in the end because I had apparently written that the party was 2-5pm and not 2-4! I'm so glad we were at home and had no issue with it being an hour longer - I was already worried that 2 hours wasn't seeming to be enough.
They all trouped lovely in to the kitchen and sat again for the cake and singing, the cake did look lovely in the end; a pink castle with purple towers, door and windows;
http://www.flickr.com/photo_zoom.gne?id=2203625306&size=m and when we turned off the lights for the candles to be lit, everyone noticed that the drinks fountain was lit up! There was a collective 'Ooooohhhh!' in the room at this point, lol! Scarlett had to stand on her chair to blow out her candles as they were so high up! I hope she made a good wish.
I must say that when the mums arrived for picking up, it really didn't seem like 3 hours at all. We had used up plenty of time making the hats for starters, and the girls kept dashing off upstairs for an unknown reason - maybe they wanted to play in Scarlett's room, or maybe it was the fairy lights on the stairs.
The guests were simply lovely, all of them well behaved and charming. Scarlett really did pick a good bunch! Where normally with a school group you end up with one really cocky child, we simply had a girl that was noticeably more confident, but still not really outspoken or anything, yet despite some being shy in bigger parties, they all played well yesterday. Frazer and Rowan were on their best behaviour, and even Tonks was good - I had to shut her in to the utility room to stop her going loopy, but not a peep was heard from her - I think she slept! Roz was about as I can't let her out at the moment. She has one of those protective hoods on after over washing her belly until it got sore and lost fur.
Scarlett was lovely, she was a good little hostess and very happy to have all her friends over. Laura came about halfway through the party and had on the best medieval dress - outshone mine, which was also borrowed from her! I was glad to have Laura, although I didn't ask as much from her as she often does at parties (I was coping fine, plus she had just come from work with parties!) but she helped out a bit still, and the children were delighted to see her. I did have to pester Liam a bit - he had promised to keep taking photos - I wanted a picture of everything! But he insisted that he either needed the loo, had to sit down for a bit, felt ill or simply couldn't. i kept grabbing the camera when he wasn't about, but it was awkward to get the shots I wanted as I was entertaining. We have plenty though, and Liam dutifully got plenty of the beautiful kitchen before it was wrecked!
I also suggested that the girls all sit down together under our 'princess canopy' (lilac decorative mosquito net) for a photo together in their pretty hats, and then they all posed one at a time for an individual poster under it, which I am going to try to print to give to them with their thank you note.
We didn't get a photo of our door though, which is a shame as I had done a great picture of Sleeping Beauty's castle and stuck it up with the words 'Happily Ever After' around it. The slightly annoying thing is that the castle encouraged the local brats to wage a campaign of Knock Down Ginger on us, which isn't convenient when you have better things to do! The very annoying thing is that this morning I found out that the picture has been stolen. I'm quite gutted about this as I was planning to use yesterdays decs for today's mini party with our family friends. Plus I was going to let Scarlett keep the poster - it was too good to throw away. But ah well. There was an imperfection that bugged me - maybe this can prompt me to make a new picture and make it better. It's just a shame that I threw away the sketch design and don't have a photo to go by. I hope it's not wrong to wish painful ingrown toenails on the little scrotes that nicked it.
Back to yesterday - I was shattered! We got the children up to bed and then I passed out downstairs, only woke up to go to bed and I had to rely on Liam to do anything that needed to be done with the dog etc.
A good day in all, and now I need to get off and arrange stuff for today! At least it's only Sally and Maria with their children coming over, so I don't need to go OTT. Libby is expecting a tea party though so I had better deliver!
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