Headache

I've been offline so not blogged for a week. I had hoped that our Tiscali to Sky change over would be a smooth one, but this was not meant to be.
We couldn't connect to the net from about Wednesday night I think; apparently Sky had sent our new router, with log in details, to us, but Parcel Force had missed us, and chosen not to leave a card. Liam managed to track it down, and asked for it to be sent to a post office near his work - well that took a couple of days (of course) and then when he got it home it took a bit of fiddling with but eventually worked. All in all about a week offline, although I have figured out that one of the computers a the library actually allows some forums beyond the BBC and children's websites.

I've been getting awful headaches at times, I don't like it. I'm also getting stinging eyes when I read or watch TV too long. I know I really need to get to the opticians but I just can't afford it - bills to pay and then childrens' clothes to buy and dog food to order, not to mention a letter box cage as Tonks keeps eating all the post.

I've also found hat I'm bleeding when ever I have sex. Embaressingly, I phoned my GP about this last year (almost exactly a year ago!) and as i phoned her tonight she told me that we had arranged that I would make an appointment for a proper examination.... I never did. But in my defence, things got better. But then again, we had a lot less sex. It's only recently I've pieced together that it's probably not coincidence that my period starts after I've had sex - I always thought that hormonally I must just want it more then or something! But nope, sex is definitely causing it, and that can't be good, can it?
I'm going for a check next Wednesday, will mean missing the breastfeeding cafe but will be worth it to find out what's up. I hope it's nothing drastic - I have left it a long time now, time to fester and get worse. i reckon it's a combination of the 'slight prolapse' I've been told I have, and the coil getting knocked and irritating my cervix or something. Hopefully nothing that will hinder pregnancy chances - oh please not that.

I'm also taking Scarlett to the GP with me. We're at the point now where Rowan is more reliable to stay dry than she is, and I really need to get it seen to. Sometimes I think she's just being awkward, or she has a fear of public toilets - and I don't get it checked out because I blame myself for her being like this (pushed her in to toilet training before she was ready I think), but then sometimes she tells me that she doesn't realise when she's doing it - and then I don't know what to think. Hopefully we will find out.

Liam is out tonight. He has a work friend leaving - they're all leaving. Apparently the office just isn't the same since this new boss took over. Liam's never been entirely happy there, but now more than ever it's his resolution to get out of there before ht year is done. We're still waiting to hear on his police force application. It's 11pm now and I've not heard from him - this is the guy that never used to go anywhere, bless him.

Mind you, i suppose he could have tried the housephone, but I doubt it. I've been in a call to my mum for much of tonight; she has had a full day, because she found out that her mother is 'riddled with cancer' and has 6 months to live. It's an odd one for me in a way, because I feel incredibly sad. In part because she is a lovely woman and I really like her, but also because I feel incredible sadness for my adopted family; this is and will hit them hard. Because I was taken in to the family as a teen, I never really got integrated in to the extended family, although I've met some of them, and my children refer to her as 'great-gran'. I'm trying to find out about homeopathy for this, to pass on to my mum.

I had a couple of panics yesterday. It was heading to be a busy one - Frazer had a school trip, then percussion after school. Scarlett had her best friend's party to go to at the same time Frazer finished percussion and Liam was to be out at Kung Fu, of course, so no dinner arrangements and I was broke.

The lesser panic was at the breastfeeding cafe. Rowan came up to me with real worry in his eyes and a puffy red, tear stained face. He mumble-squeaked something to me a few times before i could party understand when I said; 'Rowan. Have you put a raisin up your nose?' The poor boy nodded - he looked terrified!
I was unsure what to do at first, this is a parenting milestone for me - 3 children and the youngest is 3 years old, I thought I would have had this one by now! I called the health visitor over to help, but unfortunately she wasn't too sure. i hear a mum say to another that we should go to A&E and i thought nooo, not for a raisin, surely? not yet anyway! lol.
In the end I was amazingly relieved, because I have taught Rowan to blow his nose properly. He managed to get it out just fine and all was well.

Scare number two came shortly after;
I dropped Rowan off at 1pm (all happy!) and got as far as the school gates when my phone rang, it was the school, so I answered and suggested I come in to talk, as I was right there.
I turned around to go back and saw Frazer, on his way to a school trip (theatre near tower bridge). So I know it's not him, I've just dropped off Rowan happy as Larry, so have I forgotten something...? As soon as I was in the doors I saw the head teacher, holding on to Scarlett's hand, he looked quite worried and told me that she seemed to be in a lot of pain and they couldn't help her.

Sure enough she's red faced, clutching her belly and nearly screaming. I took her from him and tried to calm her down enough to find out what was wrong, took her to the toilet etc, but all I could get was that she wanted Frazer. I was a bit miffed at first that she wanted him and not me, but really worried about her belly - by now she was rolling around on the floor clutching it and I couldn't think of anything that could help; memories of Frazer almost dying from a ruptured appendix only a little younger than Scarlett is now - 'what if it is genetic?!' I kept thinking.

I took her home, was worried she would throw up everywhere but fortunately she did not. Called Liam to come home and he did an exasperated 'what?!' to which I told him - Don't you 'what' me - you're a parent, you should expect this kind of thing!
TBH, normally it wouldn't enter my head to call him - I'd take all three of them home early with me and, well, manage, but with Frazer out on a school trip this was not an option; one of us needed to be at home while the other did the school run.

She couldn't stand up straight most of the time, and couldn't keep still when we were not moving, she kept calling for Frazer, and said that she was scared, she didn't want him on a school trip.
So here's where I get more worried - I was close to taking her to A&E (only there was a sensible part of me kept saying you can't do that just for a belly ache) for fear of appendicitis, and now the superstitious part of me was incredibly worried that the Tower Bridge area was about to come under terrorist attack - that Scarlett was having some kind of premonition.
I wouldn't even post this moment online, if it weren't for speaking to a few other people already who said they would have felt the same. I do genuinely believe children are more tuned in to such things.

I carried DD half the way from the bus stop to home then had to put her down as she wouldn't let me use the carrier. She seemed to perk up as we got near to home, and she practically passed out on the sofa when we got in. It was very hard to rouse her later (at what point do you worry about that?! was another thought to hit me) but when she did wake, she was all smiles and giggles It later became apparent that it was Frazer's first trip since Scarlett has been in Reception class, so it was her first time in the big play ground without him! The poor thing had upset herself so much that she couldn't be calmed down again- and all was OK in the end.

It was very weird at picking up time, as we took Scarlett in her party dress, all ready for her best friend's birthday party! I felt guilty, but knew that I had no need - I could not have left her at school in that state, but she was perfectly well to go to the party now. I'm so glad she did - they had a great time. and as it turned out, Liam didn't go back to work so we had a bit more time with him, and I didn't need to do dinner as the children had a kids' meal with the party stuff.

I'd better stop there, I'm getting so sleepy now and i still need to get school stuff ready for the morning. Ho hum.